Hump Day: The Spring — both a horror and a wonder to behold

Hump DayHump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

Oh, March, you are a cruel month, aren’t you? You are to spring what the prim and proper flirty girl is to a prom date. You flash a warm day here, a warm day there, and everyone thinks that spring is here to stay. The prim and proper flirty girl flashes a little leg here, a little leg there, and everyone thinks she could be hot-to-trot.

Then, kaboom! A huge snowstorm that takes everyone by surprise. Or… kaboom! The skirt hem is lowered well below the knee, the sweater is buttoned right up to the neck and she demands to be brought home early.

The problem is, this happens every March, just like the date with the prim and proper flirty girl likely ends the same way every time. And there’s nothing wrong with it, it just is what it is. Everyone expects that spring is here to stay the minute a bit of snow melts in March the same way you might think you can steal a kiss on the cheek from the prim and proper flirty girl who just ends up slamming the door in your face while her father waits on the roof with a loaded shotgun.

When will we learn? Even for myself, I was outside earlier this week with the little white dog. No need for a coat. I was perfectly comfortable being outside without a hat, coat, boots, etc. I could get used to that quick, let me tell you. Then, come to find out there’s more snow on the way and the little white dog who loves to play in the snow will be doing so again soon.

And just when we get a spring teaser, the clocks spring forward by one hour, taking a precious 60 minutes of sleep away from nearly an entire society.

Like mostly everyone, it takes me a few days to adjust back into a regular routine after the clocks change. The first few days this week were brutal, but I’ll manage to become accustomed to getting up an hour ‘earlier’ every day. I do enjoy the later sunsets these days, though. I don’t mind the winter, but the dark evenings can be long. And soon enough, it will be light out very early again, too.

Having a little white dog, though, I kind of prefer the winter. She doesn’t get dirty in the snow, just a bit wet. With the appearance of a fair bit of mud earlier this week and last weekend, it became clear to me that little white dogs don’t stay white for very long after the snow melts.

This is the first spring that I have her and it’s pretty clear to me that she’s going to be looking like a wet brown rat for most of April until the grass gets green and the ground dries up a bit! Yeah, I could bathe her, I suppose, but I end up soaked and there’s water everywhere. I really need to try one of those self-serve doggie washes! They look great.

Mud also means having to always take your shoes off when you come in from outside. I like wearing shoes in the house. They provide support. I can go in and out as I please. But with all this spring mud, there’s no way I’m tracking all that dirt through the house!

What I like most about the spring, though, is the fact that we don’t have to be constantly referring to the weather forecast every time we want to travel somewhere. My nightmare would be to be travelling somewhere and then getting stuck in an airport for a few days because of flight delays due to snowstorms.

My idea of roughing it is staying in a hotel with outdated curtains. Sleeping in an airport would not go well.

I know you all probably find this hard to believe, but I would likely complain just a teensy eensy little bit. Just a pinch. Actually, I’d wail, cry and whine until someone put me up in the presidential suite at the local five-star hotel.

Every season has its assets and its annoyances. Spring is muddy, but renewal of life in gardens and forests is a wonder to behold. And it’s true, spring tends to be very moody. Very beautiful one day and then snow and hail the next.

We certainly can’t complain about this past winter. Compared to last year when it snowed 500 times per month, we’ve barely had a snowflake fall this year. The people who plow my driveway have only been here five or six times. Last year, they practically had to move in.

This is one of those weeks where the moodiness of spring hits us all. Everyone’s back from March break. The clocks went ahead by an hour, robbing everyone of sleep they likely don’t get enough of anyway.

A nice warm day leads everyone to proclaim, ‘Winter is over!’ as they do every year at this time only to find themselves having a conniption fit when they’re proven wrong yet again.

I don’t get upset about seeing snow until after April 10. Once we hit the double digit numbers in April, I give everyone permission to whine as much as they want. (I’m sure you’re all waiting for my permission right?).

And having a little white dog in the spring is like having a white car. You just look at it the wrong way and it’s dirty. Maybe I’m just more sensitive about the seasons now that the little white dog is a constant source of never-ending joy, yet she always seems to need scrubbing clean with a towel after she enters the house these days.

Ah well, it will be the same next year. It’ll snow when it’s not supposed to anymore and little white dogs will end up muddy messes. It’s spring in Canada!

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