Hump Day: In Sink — world’s worst boy band, or weekend workplace?

Hump DayHump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2012
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

Since I don’t have a dishwasher in my house, I do them the old-fashioned way, by hand. While I would have considered this torture years ago, I really don’t mind doing them now. Actually, it’s kind of relaxing.

Now, if time travel existed, the Brian from 20 years ago would pop up right in front of me, put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. “You said that if you ever admitted to liking doing dishes, I was to travel from the past to put you out of your misery.” I wouldn’t remember much after that.

So, on Sunday, I was partaking in some relaxing dishwashing activity when I found myself standing in a puddle of water. Thinking that I’d just spilled some water on the floor without noticing, I cleaned it up like a good Betty Crocker wannabe and got back to my chore.

A few minutes later, I was once again standing in a puddle of water. Uh oh! This was not good. I definitely paid attention this time and I knew I wasn’t at fault this time, for sure! I opened the cupboard door beneath the sink and saw water dripping onto the floor. A container under the sink was full of water, as well.

Oh, now that’s just lovely. What the heck is going on here? I checked more closely and rattled a pipe or two and found the problem. The sink’s drain had pretty much disconnected from the drainage pipe. It was being held together by a wing and a prayer and was leaking like a sieve.

Now, if you’re like me, these things only happen on weekends. This is especially true of sick pets. If it’s a long weekend, you can pretty much guarantee that the dog will come to find me holding its lung in one paw in an obvious plea that something is not quite right in the land of little white fluff balls. Or one of the cats will show up with its head turned around backwards and spewing vital body fluid out of its eyes.

A few years ago on Christmas Eve, no less, my cat Casey took a routine jump off my bed and somehow managed to hurt himself. He ended up limping around quite badly. Here I was on Christmas Eve with a hurt pet. My vet was closed, so I called around to find one that was open. I did, but would have to pay an emergency fee. Thankfully, he stopped limping a few hours later and the vet appointment was not required, but it was another in a long line of things that happen at the worst possible times.

Christmas Eve is a busy time for me, since my house also experienced a sewer backup on Christmas Eve several years ago. Nothing says the holidays like the smell of sewage backing up in your basement. Gross! I prefer the smell of fruitcake.

I’m sure you’ve likely experienced a broken down car on a Saturday evening — and no mechanics working until Monday. Been there, done that, too!

But back to my kitchen sink, shall we? I have a double sink, so one side was filled with hot soapy water while the other was used for rinsing. Since the drain was now out of commission, there wasn’t much I could do. I certainly couldn’t continue doing the dishes.

I took to the Internet to look for a plumber but ended up going to the Yellow Pages in my trusty old-school telephone book. Yup… the good ol’ Yellow Pages! I wanted to see that big ad with all the services instead of just a telephone number. Not all plumbers have websites, so I let my fingers do the walking through the Yellow Pages (remember that commercial?) and found myself a plumber who works on weekends.

I knew I’d end up paying through the nose, but when you have a sink full of water and a disconnected drain, you don’t have much of a choice. Time to send a sympathy card to your bank account, say a few Hail Marys and hope for the best.

Within an hour, a plumber was in my kitchen with his head stuck under my sink sawing pipes and fixing things. Of course, all this was interrupted from time to time with, “Oh, this isn’t good.” “Why did they hook it up this way?” and the like. I get that a lot whenever a professional comes to fix anything at my house. “Who fixed this, anyway?”

I’m not sure who did, actually. It certainly wasn’t me. My technical skills end at changing light bulbs. Apparently, a previous owner fancied himself a handyman.

In under two hours, the drainage system under the sink was completely replaced with new pipes and I was back in business. I was told I’d be getting a bill in the mail. Oh, I’m sure I will, I said. In reality, I was grateful for the quick service and the work done seemed to be of the highest quality. At least nothing was leaking anymore!

I’m not sure what this whole weekend curse is about. I just wish things would break on Mondays more often than Fridays at 4:30 p.m. I haven’t had a toothache in years, but those, too, happened on weekends. It’s spooky, I tell ya! It’s gotten to the point that I batten down the hatches late on Friday afternoons and wait for a meteor to hit the house. By the time Monday comes and all the meteor removal services are open, the danger has passed.

I’m pretty sure we could eliminate most of the world’s disasters if we could just do away with weekends. Who needs them, anyway? You may look forward to the weekend as a time to rest and spend time with family and friends. I see a weekend coming and get out my suit of armour for protection.

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.